O…M…Gee… We have been married for one whole year?! It’s crazy to think that this time last year, we were on our honeymoon trying to adjust to the new rings on our fingers! As every wedding goes, the day went great but not perfect. All this taught us was marriage is the same! Great but not perfect. Over the past 367 days we have had ups and downs, happy days, sad days, days we were madly in love and days that we despised the sight of each other.
Thankfully, we have WAY more good days than bad! Each and every day, we continue to learn how to navigate this amazing journey known as marriage. Through our first year of marriage there are a few things that we’ve learned. We are by no means experts, since we are newbies, ourselves… but there are a few tips we’ve learned this past year.
- Family: This can be a very stressful and sensitive topic. You have officially become one family unit with two sides. Everyone wants you around, but you must find a fair way to make everyone happy… especially yourself! Remember it is OK to set boundaries with your family. If you do not want to run around to 2-3 places for each holiday, then don’t! You can make it work, but there will be some give and take. For us, we will spend the day of a holiday with one family and either the day before or after with the other. This has worked out perfect for us… we get quality time with our families!
- Let it Go: As we have navigated this first year, there have been plenty of times we have been annoyed with each other. It’s so easy to hold onto things… but what does that accomplish? Nothing! If it’s important or truly a stress point, then it’s something that should be discussed otherwise, let it go. (In our best Elsa voice!) At the end of the day, ask yourself… is this worth the fight? Or will this accomplish anything? Am I just being selfish or childish? We all have those days where we just want things our way… but marriage is far from being all about you! It’s about your partner, your life, and your future together. Hanging onto the petty stuff just is not worth ruining your marriage over.
- Time together: Our marriage, like many these days, started with children. It is too easy to get wrapped up in family life, children, work, or in our case the business. We make it a point to set time aside for just us! No kids! No Family! No friends! Just two people… in love… remembering why we love each other. This time together does not have to be anything major… we spend it watching a TV show together. Most nights, we go to bed together; typically this will result in talking for a few.
- Respect: Before you bite our heads off with “you should always be respectful”… we know the lesson our parents taught us at an early age… However, in today’s day and age, it’s easy to make snide remarks or sarcastic comments that can come o as rude and disrespectful. Even if your words were not meant to be disrespectful, then can be. Choosing your words, your tone, and watching your partners reactions can make a world of difference. If you happen to come o a little disrespectful… the BEST thing ever is just to say, “I’m sorry” and mean it.
- Choices: Not only your choices as individuals or as a couple, but choices of those involved in your life can truly make or break a relationship. You may not be able to control another’s choices, but they can cause tension or problems in your marriage. Remember, you also have the choice to allow others to cause damage to your relationship. There are times that you may not be able to avoid toxic choices. As a couple, you will need to figure out how to handle those situations and make your own choices to determine what will be best for your marriage. Scary thought, but your spouse becomes a one of the most important people in your life!
Ryan’s biggest piece of advice in life… Don’t go to bed mad… Stay up and plot your revenge.
Nicole’s biggest piece of advice for your fist year… Happy Wife… Happy Life!
These are not profound, ground breaking tips. Simply hearing them again will put them back in your mind and we all need reminders every now and again. We ask, that you and your partner take a moment and analyze what areas your relationship may need to some improvement on. Set goals and move towards of them! Trust us… you will not regret it!
Nicole and Ryan